Deniz Buyukbaykal

November 25th, 2012 at 10:43PM

Excuses Curtain

So under the excuses curtain, one can blow the steam off unnoticed. But that curtain is a cape like superman, most of the time people who value you, acts wonderously different under that cape… So you like to be under that cape after some time and swoop all of the failures or stresses in your life under that cape, so no one can blame you. This is really understandable. For the first hand, if you use that cape for too long, no one stays near you, they’ll all go away. And if you use that cape too often like put on, put off, put on, put off, holiday, put on, put off kinda situation, results that people you love starts not trusting you because you are not stable. And in that situation you make yourself a manic-depressed. Life is wonderful.

Deniz Buyukbaykal

November 22nd, 2012 at 9:43PM

November

Yine ne yaptigimi bilmedigim baska bir ay, kasim ayi. Depresyonlarin baslangici ve soguk yagmurlu havalarla ic ice oldugumuz bir ay. Herkesin bir klise olan “Kasim’da ask baskadir.” cumlesini bir kez bile olsun kullandigi aydir Kasim.
Herkes gibi bende icim disima cikmis, artik her seyden bikar bir haldeyim. “Oldurseler de kurtulsam!” diyecegim utanmasam. Aslinda sonuc olumum olsaydi hayat daha kolay olabilirdi, ama ben zoru severim. Ayrica bu kadar cabuk pes etmek niye? Daha 17 yasindayim ve arkadaslarimdan veya ailemden kimse yuzume “Kendine gel!” bile diyemiyor. Bu hos bir sey degil.
Kendimden emin olmadigim gibi arkadaslarimdan da haz alamiyorum artik. Yalnizlik desen; cok zorlu bir yol, benim yolum degil. Ama her seyi dogru yapmaya calistigim dogru. Caba sarf ediyorum –ne ise yaradigini bilmesem de-
Keske burda yanimda olsa dedigim insanlar bile yok artik.

Deniz Buyukbaykal

1 note

August 26th, 2012 at 3:26PM